Blog / ‘Twas The Night Before Christmas… Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to All…

This is going to the be the last Cyber Security newsletter of 2020. You will not hear from me again until January, 2021. So, in the spirit of the Christmas Season, I thought a cyber rendition of the “‘Twas The Night Before Christmas” poem would be in order, and it goes like this:

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the NOC

Only one creature was stirring, neither user nor Bot

The spreadsheets were printed, the reports all compiled

In hopes the Christmas Party wouldn’t get a bit wild

The managers were nestled all snug in their beds

While dreams of paid invoices danced in their heads

JoMama with his Boom Stick and me with my Gack

Logged in to Team Fortress, to spank newbs and talk smack

When out from the server room arose such a clatter

I sprang from my chatroom to see what’s the matter

Away to the access door I flew like the Flash

Swiped my card three times just to get past

The sound of the fans, as they spun and they whined

Might make you think everything was just fine

When what to my wondering eyes should appear

A lonely red light that filled me with fear

On a little old UPS, with filth that was thick

I knew in a moment which battery was sick

More Rapid than eagles to the supply-cabinet I came

Read labels on replacements and called them by name

“Not Smart UPS, not APC, nor GE

Some off-brand from China, to save some money

I need that battery badly”, I wiped my brow just a bit

Knowing if I couldn’t find it, I’d get a pink slip

And then, in a twinkling, I reached far to the back

And grasped something heavy, in cheap plastic wrap

As I drew back my hand, all covered in dust

The label was faded, so it’s open or bust

I was coated in dirt, from my head to my foot

And possibly diseases, contained in the soot

A bundle of joy, enclosed in my hands

To keep servers running, they’re made out of sand

My eyes — how they twinkled! Like LEDs, red as cherries

Though not that dangerous red, that you get when you’re weary

A bundle of tech in my pockets and pants

Phones, tablet, and pager, in cloths made of plants

I spoke not a word and went straight to work

Sneezed a little and wiped on my shirt

And laying a finger inside of the wrapping

Opened it up, like a kid with their stocking

Writing all faded, on the manuals page

With diagrams and labels, all wasted with age

My heart skipped a beat, instructions so hard to see

But then again, how hard could it be?

By the failed UPS, I opened the case

And pulled out the failed unit, held up to my face

Slapped in the new battery and hit the on-switch

The green light lit up a sight I had missed

I turned my back on the racks, and sighed in relief

Made my way to my chair, and leaned back in belief

I let out a sigh, with adrenaline and fear

Saying “Merry Christmas to all and do I need a beer!”

It’s been fun. I’ll be back in January with more Computer Security.

By Kind Courtesy of Your Friendly Neighbourhood Cyber-Man.